


Habits of My Heart

by orphan_account



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Background Relationships, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Returns, F/M, Inhumans (Marvel), M/M, Markless Darcy, Multi, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Smut, Steve Has Issues, Thor Is Not Stupid, WinterShieldShock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 22:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5351048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She hadn't meant to get involved with Steve in the first place. It just sort of . . . happened. She was markless and he was without his soulmate, so they connected through short meetings until the simple feelings evolved into more for the hero. That is, until Steve found Bucky and Darcy was pushed to the shadows.</p><p>Back to square one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> We all need another angsty WinterShieldShock fanfiction. Lord help us all.

She first meets Steve in the tower in the winter.

Sunday mornings in the tower are Darcy's favorite mornings, namely because today was her day off from Science! Usually, she would still be dead to the world at 6:10 in the morning, but every once a year she would get up early and watch the light turn from a low, still grey to a liquid gold. And it's only in the winter that she could see it. She would watch the sunrise since she was little with her brother and sister, watching cartoons and wrapped up in a comforter from her closet as their mother would make them breakfast. It was the Lewis tradition.

Darcy grabs her cup of coffee from the brewer and sits on one of the sofas in the Communal Room, facing the large window. She pulls her phone out from her pocket and starts scrolling through some of her emails, answering a few. She looks up some time later and smiles as she starts to see some light filter into the room, the dark shifting to a grey. Her head whips to the hallway when she hears feet pad against the marble floors. Her heart flutters when Steve Rogers walks down the hall and into the living room clad in a tight white t-shirt and low hung sweatpants. His golden blond hair sticks up as he makes his way over to the coffee, picking up the pot with his back to her. She watches, completely mesmerized by the contracting of his back muscles underneath his sinfully tight shirt. He lifts the mug to his lips and turns around, sputtering when he sees her. She feels her face turn red as she realizes she's caught red-handed. After he regains himself, he gives her a soft smile.

"I didn't know anyone would be up at this time." He says and her heart skips a beat.

"It's something I do every year. Watch the sunrise, I mean." She responds once she's cleared the cotton from her head. He nods and sits on the loveseat across her. An awkward silence fills the room as Darcy stares down at her coffee.

She has no idea what to say.

A soft ding pulls her from her mind as Steve reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, eyes scanning the screen. he puts his phone back into his pocket and stands up, his eyes flicking to her.

"It was nice to see you..." He trails off.

"Darcy." She fills in.

"Darcy." He repeats slowly, like he's tasting as he would with thick chocolate, sending shivers down her spine and causing goosebumps to rise on her skin.

"It was nice to see you too." She says and he smiles before setting his cup in the sink and leaving. She turns to the outside and smiles when she sees the sun starts to peak over the horizon, sending beams of gold to dance on the tower. It's been a good morning.

//

"What's the Avengers' eta?" Darcy asks as she throws in another batch of brownies.

"ETA is twenty minutes." The AI responds and a quiet curse leaves Darcy's mouth as she begins to rush.

"God fucking damn it," she rushes over to the other set of ovens and pulls out the muffins and cupcakes, setting them out to cool. "I can't get shit done without them finding a damn loophole to make it back sooner," she grumbles and puts away the extra cookie dough. "I don't get paid enough to do this shit." Since the early hours of morning to nearly midnight, Darcy has made ten large batches of cookies; two chocolate chip, three macadamia nut and white chocolate, and five peanut butter; five batches of blueberry, cinnamon, and chocolate muffins; two loaves of pumpkin bread, three loaves of banana bread and one cinnamon raisin bread; and various cakes.

She rushes back over to the ovens and pulls out the last of the cookies, setting them out to cool on the rack. She pulls off her apron and lays it on the back of one of the chairs before she dashes to her room, throwing her hair up to grab a quick shower so she won't smell like BO when the heroes get back.

"Ms. Lewis, they have landed." FRIDAY's announcement makes her squeak. She shut off the shower and into the towel that was hung up next to her. She hastily dries off before throwing on a pair of sweatpants and a sports bra with a t-shirt. She jogs back out to the kitchen where she finds everyone staring bug-eyed at the treats.

"Lewis, what's this for?" Tony is the first to break from the trance. She shrugs.

"Just wanted to give you guys something for when you got back. Take your pick." She smiles as they scramble for their favorites, all going for a different treat thank God. Steve grabs the chocolate chip cookies and takes a bite, his eyes widening.

"Oh my God, these are amazing. They taste just like the ones that Bucky's ma used to make." He looks like he's in total nostalgic heaven at the moment and it makes Darcy's insides warm. He looks to her and she nods to the rest.

"Go ahead, take whatever you like. I can always make more." His head flicks over to the cinnamon muffins and snags those too before giving her a thankful look and retreating to his room. She sighs and looks over to the rest who are acting like absolute animals trying to get the rest of the deserts. Nope, not even going to try and deal with that. She bids everyone a good night before retiring to her room for the night as well.

//

 

"FRIDAY, I need you to monitor the readings on project SFC-834 and tell me if there are any fluctuations that happen within the room." Jane says and closes off the room, the door making a hissing as it seals shut.

"I have taken the liberty to sending any readings to your StarkPad so you can monitor the machine as well." FRIDAY responds and Jane picks up her StarkPad, walking over to the observation window. A low hum was coming from the room as the machine powered on, a blue glow emitting from it. Darcy sits at the back of the room, coffee in hand as she tries to stay awake with Jane at 2:17 in the morning on a Science! bender. She feels like absolute crap since she has a pretty nasty bug, dressed in a muscle shirt and sweatpants with her hair in a bun, there's nothing more she wants at the moment than sleep. Usually, Tony and Bruce would be working on it with her but Pepper threatened the both of them, and Darcy doesn't want to know with what. She sniffles and keeps her eyes on Jane, not daring to let them off of her for a second or Odin know what would happen.

"Janey, you need to get to bed," she croaks, trying to break the scientists train of thought. "It's two in the morning and I know Thor wouldn't want you staying up this late."

"I need to make sure that the calibrations are set before Tony and I shoot this off in the afternoon. I don't want it to blow up in my face." She answers with her face still in the Pad.

"But Tony can help you with that later, you can't do anything when you're sleep deprived." Darcy yawns and sets her mug on the table, pulling the blankets closer to her body. Jane turns to her and her face softens.

"Go to bed, Darce. I'll go in a few minutes." She says and Darcy shakes her head.

"Nope. No way in hell are you staying here without supervision." She gives Jane a look. Jane laughs and returns her attention on the machine. Darcy stretches and readjusts herself, her body relaxing into the couch. Her eyes begin to droop shut and soon she can't fight it, letting the blanket of sleep encase her. In what feels like minutes, she awakens to her arms swaying and the scent of wet wood. She looks through her blurry eyes and finds that she's being carried by Steve who's in a grey shirt and black sweatpants. She turns her head to look up and finds him already looking down on her.

"Wher' we goin'?" She half mumbled, mind still fuzzy.

"Taking you back to your room, you feel asleep in the lab." He answers and she nods, nuzzling her head against his chest.

"M'kay." She closes her eyes and stays in the state where she's not awake but not completely asleep. She soon feels her soft mattress against her back and the Captain removing his arms from her body. But before he can remove them completely, she grabs onto one of his hands

"Stay with me?" She asks, her eyes still closed. He takes a moment before answering.

"If that is what you want then I will." He slides her over a bit and pulls the duvet up and around them. Darcy rolls over and lays her head on his chest, an arm splayed across his chest. He freezes, holding his breath to see if she will do anything else but she doesn't. He wraps an arm around her back and moves his hand up and down, smiling a bit as she sighs. She's soon asleep, and so is he.

//

It's not long after that night does Darcy start developing feelings for the soldier. Always figuring out ways on how to make him happy, to make him smile, because it's like a drug to her. And she knows it shouldn't be. Fate hadn't given her a soulmate, and Steve had lost his before he hit the ice. She knows it's selfish to try and take Steve for her own while he's still mourning over the loss of everything that he had ever known. But it won't stop her.

//

There's one particular morning that sets everything into motion, when Steve comes back up from the gym to find Darcy in his room, dressed only in her best bra and pair of underwear. His heart stops and his mouth is dry looking at the beautiful thing in front of him. The only other thing that stands out from what she wear's is the red lipstick that she has on that contrasts with the black that she has on. It's his favorite color.

"Christ." He drops his duffle and is on top of her in a second, his lips attacking hers before trailing down her neck. Small mews come out of her mouth as he sucks on where her neck meets her jaw. It's not long before he sheds his shirt and sweats, discarding them on the floor. His hands roam her body, feeling every inch of her skin, wanting to become familiar with her body. He sits her up right and goes to undo her bra but she grabs his hands, looking up at him.

"You don't have to." She whispers and he can hear the twinge of fear in her voice. He shakes his head.

"I want this." He reassures and she let's go of his hands, letting him undo the hooks. The cotton and lace fall off her shoulders and his breath is caught in his lungs again at the shear beauty of her. Light, silvery lines mark the sides of her full breasts and he lays her down again, mouth attaching to one of the nipples. A airy gasp leaves her lips as he sucks at one and massages the other with his hand. His mouth works wonders on her, eliciting moans and whines of various pitches from her. He works his way down to her cotton and lace underwear, stopping when her breathing hitches. He hooks his fingers on the bands and slowly pull them off, discarding them to the floor. He wastes no time latching his mouth to her, pulling a string of curses from her mouth.

"Oh my God, Steve," her words are airy and his hands on her hips can feel her muscles spasming at the sudden pleasure. He hums and works his tongue harder, determined to make her come undone on his mouth. "S-Steve, I'm close." The words only encourage him further. He feels her body seize up and her breathing stop as her orgasm washes over her. A long whine comes from her as her body clenches and unclenches, her back arching off of the bed. It takes a few moments for her to steady her breathing until she has Steve slipping out of his boxers, mouth quickly wrapping around his length.

"S-shit, Darce." Her mouth works heavenly up and down his shaft, her hand working at what she can't fit in her mouth. She hums and the feeling sends shivers down his spine. His hips buck up into her and her sputters an apology, his breath choppy. When he feels himself begin to come close, he stops lays down, pulling her on top of him. She sinks down onto him and they both moan at the feeling of one another. She starts slow, searching for a rhythm, one she soon finds. She quickens and it leaves the two of them gasping as she works her hips over him, her palms flat across his chest and hair falling like a curtain around her face. His hands settle on her hips, following them. There's tightening feeling in his balls and he grips onto her hips, speeding up, making whines leave her mouth as they both chase their releases. His teeth latch onto her shoulder as lets go inside of her, feeling her muscles contracting around him sending him off the edge. They collapse onto the bed, spent. Steve pulls the comforter over the two of them, grinning like a mad man when he sees her passed out, a small smile on her lips. 

But of course there's always something that shakes them from their dreams.


	2. After the Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's a short one before I actually start writing everything out. Get ready.

Darcy woke to large hands rubbing up and down her back, making her hum. Slowly she opened her eyes and smiled at the soldier.

"That feels nice." She hums and lets her eyes flutter shut, basking in the touch. She opens them again and they roam over his body, drinking in his body. But stops at the grey words wrapping around his bicep. His eyes follow her gaze and they darken.

"Don't worry about them. That was a long time ago." He tries to sooth her worries.

"To us maybe, but it's still fresh to you." Her eyes meet his and he sighs.

"It's still my past," he moves a hand to brush her hair back. "But I'm in the twenty-first century, and right now you're with me. And I wouldn't have it any other way." He leans down and presses a kiss to her forehead. She smiles and sighs.

A faint buzzing noise pulls them from their moment and Steve mutters a curse, making Darcy chuckle.

"You've got a mission to do soldier."

"SHIELD's always has a mission for me." He gives her a quick peck before getting out of bed and getting dressed. Darcy too gets out of bed and throws on her bra and underwear, snagging a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt from Steve's dresser. They walk out of the room and straight into Natasha. She gives them a once over and shakes her head, chuckling. As she walks away, she throws a shout over her shoulder.

"Use protection!"

//

The next day, Steve was explaining that he was moving out of the tower.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, found a place in DC. And I was wondering if you would like to come with me." Darcy felt her heart stop.

"What?" Steve sighs and puts his hands on her upper arms.

"Come with me, Darce." His eyes are pleading but she shakes her head.

"I can't. I have Jane and Thor here. I can't just up and leave them." Her words are thick with emotion and he nods.

"I understand," he lets go of her arms and hangs his head. There's heartbreak in his eyes and guilt fills her, knowing full well that it's her fault. She should have never engaged in a relationship with Steve, she should've known the consequences of being with Captain America, the golden boy. "Still friends?" He looks to her, trying to cover up the hurt with humor. She chokes out a laugh.

"Yeah, we're still friends big guy."

He's gone before she even wakes up the next morning.

//

Darcy can feel the adrenaline rushing through her as she sprints down the hallways to the landing pad, terrified to see what she finds. Steve is just getting of the quinjet when he sees her, tears threatening to spill over her eyes. He sets down his bags just before she crashes into him, latching onto him for dear life. She sobs into his shoulder as he whispers sweet nothings into her ear.

"I saw the helicarriers fall from the sky knowing that you were on one of them. It was hours before they found your body on the riverbank. I was thinking for hours that you could be dead, that you didn't make it." She rambles and he only holds her tighter. He lets her down but she still has a steel grip around his torso.

"Darce, there's something that I need to tell you." He says and she looks up, fear on her face. But he doesn't need to say anything for she catches the black ink where his words are.

"How?" She asks and he can tell that she's waiting for the ball to drop.

"Soviets found him after he fell from the train and sawed off the remnants of left arm, giving him a cybernetic arm. He's been brainwashed, tortured and didn't have a clue that he was human. That's why his words were grey, because he didn't remember and thought he wasn't human. But before I fell into the water from the helicarrier, he started remembering. Then his words went back to black." His eyes were sad and she was facing the floor.

"You're leaving again." It wasn't a question but a statement and he nodded.

"He's out there, having no idea who his is or what's going on. I need to find him."

"Is this it?"

"I don't want it to be. But he's alive and I can't just say no to him, I'm sorry." A sob rips through her and guilt chews at him. She turns around and starts walking back to her room. His hands are clenched at his sides as he tries to contain his anger for the universe and it's cruel ways. Why did this have to happen to them?

//

The next months are hard for the both of them, giving each other side ways glances but never approaching the other. Darcy believes it's better this way, because he was never truly her's. She keeps herself occupied with work from Jane and Tony, transferring notes on paper to Friday to keep and helping with different experiments. She hates it though. The pain of being empty tearing through her, leaving nothing but black pain.

And of course it's not long before the others notice that something's wrong with the two of them, but it's only Natasha that puts two and two together. Nobody else figures it out.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't been excited to write a fic for a while and I have some pretty good feelings for this one. Hope you liked it!


End file.
